Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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