We named our party play list daddy issues
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
