you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
