I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
