hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
