i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
