i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need water and some morals
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
