If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
