I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
