She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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