he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
