he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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