I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
