I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My vagina is very pro this idea
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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