some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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