I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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