ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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