So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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