He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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