She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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