you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
