I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Bring me that man meat
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
