Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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