Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
