he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
sex in a hospital.. check
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
