She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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