Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
