I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
