so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
