I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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