my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
