Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
