Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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