She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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