Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think your dad took our porno
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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