guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
