if i can run in heels then i can drive
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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