Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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