i just had sex bonerless
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
