i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
