I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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