You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
