Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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