Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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