She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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