i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
