mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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