matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize