God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
