took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
