normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
