and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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