Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
