I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
