please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
