Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
