I feel great
I just peed on a car
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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