I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
