You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
